Every year in November, we start seeing posts about what we are thankful for.  There is a part of me that smiles when I see those posts on social media.  The idea of pausing to be thankful is a good idea and we need to do it more often.  But this year, I want to shake that up a little bit. 

I don’t want you to sit down at the end of the day and scroll through your familiar list of private blessings.  Home, my family, pets, job… No.  I want to challenge you to  a little more.  I want you to look at tomorrow intentionally and think -​

​And then I want you to do it. 

Can you imagine the ripple effect this could have in your community?  I realize that everyone  isn’t going to read this blog - but what if you reading it, and acting on it blesses someone else?  And what if that person, because they are blessed, turns around and is kind to someone else?  And that person, and that person… What if?

When I think about intentional parenting, this is a good decision to make early.  As the kids get older, the conversations are harder to start.  Sometimes I would talk but they wouldn't chime in at all, what was going on inside of them?  Words have meaning, and I wanted to ask meaningful questions.  Ask what you mean to ask.  ​

Ideally, that place was around the dinner table at some point.  Somewhere around middle school basketball, volleyball, and soccer, that got complicated. My husband started working nights as well around that time. The kids were 11, 13, & 15 and we had to adjust.  When are you really together if not around the dinner table?  Parenting intentionally called for a change in our routine.  Looking over the schedule, I realized that we were all home at 9PM, so that became “game time.” ​

Dinner might be eaten in the car or from a concession stand, but for at least 1 hand of a card game, or one quick round of Sequence, we would all sit around the table in the evening.  It was the “new” dinner time. 

After the habit was formed, if we didn't have time for a game before bed, we would still end up around the kitchen counter for a few minutes.  It was a good habit to start.  And this question was the constant:  What is the best thing that happened to you today?

The best part - They knew it was coming.  They knew it because it happened every night.  And since they knew it was coming, they always came prepared.  ​

Just a simple reminder today that we need each other.  

​Speak life, friends!

The Bible says these things should be the product of the Holy Spirit working in our lives.  It's like Paul is saying - Let go of the bad stuff and do this stuff instead.  ​

 I’m not sure about you, but for me some of them need to be exercised a little more.  Please don't misunderstand me, the Bible is correct.  The Holy Spirit has put these things inside of me in a way that they never were before I had a relationship with Christ, but I think we have some responsibility here, too.

When I was younger I thought they were some sort of magical spell that would just “poof” and then it would happen. Think:  Disney movie.  Imagine being suddenly patient at the right time.  Or never tempted because my self control is rock-steady.  ​

Wouldn't that be nice?  I had a lot to learn.

​I can go to the store and come home with 3 or 4 bottles of things every week that clean better, sanitize, scrub, freshen, and polish everything.  I love buying cleaning supplies, don't you?  I have shelves full of them and they should be handy to have around.  

But guess what?  On Saturday afternoon when I should be using them, its easier to find something else to do. And then one day I walk into a room and see my mess and I think “oh yeah…”  The truth is that I never took the product off the shelf and gave it a chance to do what it was designed to do.  The magic in that eraser requires some elbow grease.​

​Personally, I need daily reminders to practice these things.  As I remember to pull those items off the shelf more often, I will remember how to use them in the opportunities that I need them in. 

So here's the challenge:  Pick one.  Choose love today.  Practice it and sprinkle it on everything.  When you are ready, add another.  ​

One final thought:  Be careful asking specifically for these things in prayer.  Asking for patience will most certainly give you opportunities to be patient, and that might not be what you were expecting!  I believe in the power of prayer and I believe that words have meaning.   Instead, I often pray for the Holy Spirit to remind me of what tool I have that I can use for the place I am at right now.  

Which fruit do you have the hardest time remembering to pull out?

​I didn’t like to babysit (his kids) when I was in high school.  I just wasn’t that person.  Honestly, I didn’t know much about babies.  Chad and I had been married for a little over a year and here we were.  I guess it seemed like the next logical step, and we were naïve - but excited.  ​

​We were ready to tell our Sunday School class the next week when another friend shared at the same time that they were also expecting. 

​A third friend stopped us before we left that day, “Hey, I teach a little class called 'Preparation for Parenting'.  It can help you get your baby to sleep through the night by 8 weeks old!”  

THAT was the moment when I realized that I had no idea what I was getting into.  Babies don’t sleep all night?  What was she talking about?  I had so much to learn.  We took the classes.  I’ll always be grateful for the classes.

I think God was showing His sense of humor on March 31, 1999. Chad started out his day telling me he would be ‘too busy’ to come to my Dr.'s appointment with me.  He worked in a family business and it was the busy season.  I was 'too busy' to have a baby that day, too.  She wasn’t due for another 2 weeks, so I thought it was fine, but I didn’t feel well that morning.   

It was payroll day.  I am also a part of a different small family business and 30 families were counting on me to get paychecks ready before the end of the day.  By midmorning I had started a funny column of numbers on a piece of scratch paper on my desk.  9:45. 10:05, 10:22, 10:49…. My appointment was at 2:00.  ​

I decided I should probably get the payroll done before I left for the appointment, because these contractions were getting closer.  I called Chad at noon and told him he had to come with me.  I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I thought maybe I was having a baby.  At 1:45 when we walked into the Dr.'s office, they instructed us to go straight to the hospital.  

​It was actually the next morning at 1AM before she made her grand entrance via emergency C section.  April fools day was registered as a real holiday forever in my heart.  I’m glad I got the payroll done, because the person that I was when I left the hospital a few days later was very different from the person I was when I had left work that day.  Everything changed in an instant.  I was a mom. ​

One of the strangest emotions I can remember happened that next day, after Bridget was born.  We were still at the hospital and my in-laws arrived to celebrate with us the birth of their first grandchild.  We were all so happy!  I recall very clearly my mother-in-law coming into the room and saying “Wow, look what you made!” ​

​Of course, I don’t recall ever correcting my MIL, and I wouldn’t.  I do have so many questions for heaven though, and some of them are really hard.  Maybe you have questions too?  Like:  Are these babies somehow formed from who I am?  If so, I would love to take that credit for the great stuff, but then, what about the miscarriages that came along the way?  Did I somehow “fail” to make them?  Did I do something right that made my daughters smarter than me?  Did I do something wrong that made them socially awkward sometimes?

Welcome to the “I’m Mom’s Favorite” first blog post!  (Click here for more Blog posts)
​
You probably want an explanation… ​

​Here's the story:  It was 2016 when I went to the doctor with a headache.  I thank God for a doctor who knew me well enough to know that it needed to be investigated deeper.  After an MRI and a few sleepless nights my husband and I ended up in front of a Neurosurgeon at the University of Iowa Hospital.  He said the words: “Brain Surgery.”  I don’t recall much of the rest of the conversation, but very quickly we were preparing for the unknown.

​I have 3 children.  At this point they were 16, 14, and 12. Which means they had a lot of growing up left to do.  We hadn’t even started dating, cars, graduation, college, marriages, or grandchildren…. to say the least, the words that the doctor had said were terrifying.  And if I was that scared, I could only imagine how afraid they would be.  My parenting instincts kicked in and it was time to be intentional.

So, I went to Amazon to get them each a t-shirt.

​Yes, I did take this to God immediately.  And then I bought the shirts!  I was going through something, but so were they.  In my heart, I already knew what I want to share with you here, but I needed to make sure that they did.

Often in the Bible I see where God's love for me is illustrated as similar to a parent's love for their children.  God's love is relatable that way.  With that in mind, consider Psalms 31:7.   This verse reminded me that Jesus knew everything that was going on inside of me right then.  From the perspective of a parent's love, I also understood what it meant to see my children hurting and I was grateful for His perfect love.

I believe that He hurts with us when we go through hard times.  I wonder, if Adam and Eve hadn't taken that fruit in the garden, would children have to loose parents to blood clots in their brains? In the Bible it says that "Jesus Wept" in John 11:35, and on that day, laying face down in my bedroom - as His favorite child - Jesus Wept with me as I  prayed.​​

Going in for surgery was a mixed bag of emotions.  On one hand, I always try to be positive and happy.  We were joking around and laughing in the pre-op room.  On the other hand, I wanted to leave nothing important unsaid.  The prayers were sincere.  The I love you’s were genuine.  The hugs were a little longer, just in case. My mom was there, I was her favorite right then.  My Jesus was there too, and I believe I was His favorite right then as well. 

The Old Testament gives us story after story of wonderful people who had to offer sacrifices to God to receive forgiveness for their sins.  That's a lot of innocent lambs, and a lot of guilty humans.  But then... Jesus. 

Jesus was sent by God to be the final sacrifice.  No more lambs.  Jesus walked with us and he lived with us.  He experienced life with us.  God with us.  In John 11 Jesus' friend dies.  He is broken with grief in the same way that we as humans get broken with grief.  Jesus understands.  Then he demonstrates his power.  He brings that friend back to life.

I could easily get stuck at that point in the story.  It's not fair.  I have a few people I would have liked him to bring back, but he didn't.  I wonder if Lazarus was upset with Jesus for bringing him back?  Lets assume he had made it to heaven, would he be disappointed to return?  After some thought, I think Jesus might have apologized to Lazarus and explained - 'You know, I was just showing off so they would know what I could do.'  Maybe?

​Later in the same book - John chapters 19 and 20 - Jesus would conquer death for good.  For all of us.  You should look that part up in your Bible.

SO WHAT IS THIS BLOG ABOUT?  I’m glad you asked. I believe in parenting intentionally.  Thankfully, I was introduced to some amazing concepts when my babies came that are absolutely not my own ideas, but my husband and I were able to implement them. 

If you are a reader, there is a book called “Baby Wise” that explains a lot of the principles that we applied to our family.  The classes we took were called "Prep for parenting" and "Growing kids God's Way" (I don't care for that title)  I'm not going to sit here and tell you that this is the "right" way or the "only" way. 

​My intention with this blog is to explain how we have executed the principles that were the most important to us and some of them came from that book.  Some of our parenting ideas are also very Montessori, or are based on how we were raised (and a little of the opposite of how we were raised).  There is a Biblical structure to all of our intentions. 

Keep in mind that the “why” is always as important as the “how”.