I'm Mom's Favorite

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Welcome to the “I’m Mom’s Favorite” first blog post!  (Click here for more Blog posts)
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You probably want an explanation… ​

Who exactly is mom’s favorite?  

​Here's the story:  It was 2016 when I went to the doctor with a headache.  I thank God for a doctor who knew me well enough to know that it needed to be investigated deeper.  After an MRI and a few sleepless nights my husband and I ended up in front of a Neurosurgeon at the University of Iowa Hospital.  He said the words: “Brain Surgery.”  I don’t recall much of the rest of the conversation, but very quickly we were preparing for the unknown.

He said the words:  "Brain Surgery."

​I have 3 children.  At this point they were 16, 14, and 12. Which means they had a lot of growing up left to do.  We hadn’t even started dating, cars, graduation, college, marriages, or grandchildren…. to say the least, the words that the doctor had said were terrifying.  And if I was that scared, I could only imagine how afraid they would be.  My parenting instincts kicked in and it was time to be intentional.

So, I went to Amazon to get them each a t-shirt.

...That probably wasn't the "Jesus moment" you were just looking for. 
​Please, keep reading.

​Yes, I did take this to God immediately.  And then I bought the shirts!  I was going through something, but so were they.  In my heart, I already knew what I want to share with you here, but I needed to make sure that they did.

They were excited to open their gifts, and we had a good laugh. I had given them each a shirt that said “I’m Mom’s favorite” and I explained to them that all of the shirts were true.  Then we talked about surgery. 

I hope that any parents reading this understand when I say that every one of my kids is my favorite at any given moment.  Whatever my kid is saying to me, is the most important thing I’m hearing.  Had a bad day?  I want to know.  Had a good day?  I want to be in on that, too.  And I wanted them to know that even though I had a struggle going on, their struggles, and highs, and lows, were still important  to me.  In hindsight, my worries and concerns about brain surgery had a lot to do with what my family would do without me, and how much I didn’t want to miss their futures.

Often in the Bible I see where God's love for me is illustrated as similar to a parent's love for their children.  God's love is relatable that way.  With that in mind, consider Psalms 31:7.   This verse reminded me that Jesus knew everything that was going on inside of me right then.  From the perspective of a parent's love, I also understood what it meant to see my children hurting and I was grateful for His perfect love.

I believe that He hurts with us when we go through hard times.  I wonder, if Adam and Eve hadn't taken that fruit in the garden, would children have to loose parents to blood clots in their brains? In the Bible it says that "Jesus Wept" in John 11:35, and on that day, laying face down in my bedroom - as His favorite child - Jesus Wept with me as I  prayed.​​

Going in for surgery was a mixed bag of emotions.  On one hand, I always try to be positive and happy.  We were joking around and laughing in the pre-op room.  On the other hand, I wanted to leave nothing important unsaid.  The prayers were sincere.  The I love you’s were genuine.  The hugs were a little longer, just in case. My mom was there, I was her favorite right then.  My Jesus was there too, and I believe I was His favorite right then as well. 

"My Jesus was there too, and I believe I was His favorite right then as well." ​

That’s what I want you to know.  Don’t miss it - regardless of what you are going through right now; You are His favorite, too.  And it’s ok, you can trust Him with that.  I know that is hard, but the hard things that I have gone through have helped me understand just how loved I am as His child.  

Back in that garden God gave humanity "free will."  If I'm being honest, Adam and Eve represented me pretty accurately when they wanted to taste the one thing that God said he didn't want them to have.   God had made humanity to love and honor Him, but in one bite sin would enter the world.

The Old Testament gives us story after story of wonderful people who had to offer sacrifices to God to receive forgiveness for their sins.  That's a lot of innocent lambs, and a lot of guilty humans.  But then... Jesus. 

Jesus was sent by God to be the final sacrifice.  No more lambs.  Jesus walked with us and he lived with us.  He experienced life with us.  God with us.  In John 11 Jesus' friend dies.  He is broken with grief in the same way that we as humans get broken with grief.  Jesus understands.  Then he demonstrates his power.  He brings that friend back to life.

I could easily get stuck at that point in the story.  It's not fair.  I have a few people I would have liked him to bring back, but he didn't.  I wonder if Lazarus was upset with Jesus for bringing him back?  Lets assume he had made it to heaven, would he be disappointed to return?  After some thought, I think Jesus might have apologized to Lazarus and explained - 'You know, I was just showing off so they would know what I could do.'  Maybe?

​Later in the same book - John chapters 19 and 20 - Jesus would conquer death for good.  For all of us.  You should look that part up in your Bible.

That doesn’t mean that every hard thing works out with a pretty pink bow on top, just like it was planned.  In fact, if you don’t know me already, you will eventually find out that brain surgery is the small stuff for me.  I've faced the unimaginable, but you know what is constant?  I’m still His favorite.  He died on a cross for me.  And he died on that cross for you too.

If you are in that moment of struggle, be confident in knowing that He loves you perfectly.  You, my friend, are His favorite.  And if you are just now understanding that, take a moment and have a conversation with Him.  Let him know what you have learned here and ask him to come into your life today and walk beside you wherever you are at.  Shoot me an email and let me know too - I would be honored to pray for you and encourage you.


PS.  Surgery went well for me and recovery was remarkably fast.  I was motivated by my household to get back to life as quickly as possible. My favorite 12 year old had the lead in the spring musical, so I had to be there!  And I was.

SO WHAT IS THIS BLOG ABOUT?  I’m glad you asked. I believe in parenting intentionally.  Thankfully, I was introduced to some amazing concepts when my babies came that are absolutely not my own ideas, but my husband and I were able to implement them. 

If you are a reader, there is a book called “Baby Wise” that explains a lot of the principles that we applied to our family.  The classes we took were called "Prep for parenting" and "Growing kids God's Way" (I don't care for that title)  I'm not going to sit here and tell you that this is the "right" way or the "only" way. 

​My intention with this blog is to explain how we have executed the principles that were the most important to us and some of them came from that book.  Some of our parenting ideas are also very Montessori, or are based on how we were raised (and a little of the opposite of how we were raised).  There is a Biblical structure to all of our intentions. 

Keep in mind that the “why” is always as important as the “how”.

Fast forward to today.  My kids are still all my favorite.  We’ve been through some really great highs.  We’ve been through enormous lows.  Frank Sinatra says “That’s Life”. 
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I kind of hate Frank, but it’s true. 

My wish for you is not that life will only be “highs”, although I’ll be genuinely happy for you if it is.  Instead I pray that you will be able to navigate the “lows” with God’s grace, and that you will always remember that you are His favorite.

Speak life, friends.

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