Part 1: best things

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What is the best thing that happened to you today?

How would you answer that right now? 

​Better yet - how would you approach tomorrow if you knew that you had to answer that question at the end of the day?

​That’s not the question that we usually ask, is it? ​

Usually we say “How are you?” 

​...and the answer is “fine.” 

When I think about intentional parenting, this is a good decision to make early.  As the kids get older, the conversations are harder to start.  Sometimes I would talk but they wouldn't chime in at all, what was going on inside of them?  Words have meaning, and I wanted to ask meaningful questions.  Ask what you mean to ask.  ​

Once every day your family ends up in the same space, even if only to sleep.  ​

Ideally, that place was around the dinner table at some point.  Somewhere around middle school basketball, volleyball, and soccer, that got complicated. My husband started working nights as well around that time. The kids were 11, 13, & 15 and we had to adjust.  When are you really together if not around the dinner table?  Parenting intentionally called for a change in our routine.  Looking over the schedule, I realized that we were all home at 9PM, so that became “game time.” ​

Dinner might be eaten in the car or from a concession stand, but for at least 1 hand of a card game, or one quick round of Sequence, we would all sit around the table in the evening.  It was the “new” dinner time. 

After the habit was formed, if we didn't have time for a game before bed, we would still end up around the kitchen counter for a few minutes.  It was a good habit to start.  And this question was the constant:  What is the best thing that happened to you today?

The best part - They knew it was coming.  They knew it because it happened every night.  And since they knew it was coming, they always came prepared.  ​

So, again, how would you approach tomorrow if you knew that you had to answer that question at the end of the day?

"RULES"

There are some rules, that I learned along the way.  Let me know in the comments what you do, and if you have any other rules!

• Cheezy answers are allowed.  Sometimes “winning this game” was really the best thing that happened.  Usually there was something better. 
• Often they asked if they could have two.  I tried to make them all share one before someone got a second one, just so no one gets skipped.
• Be prepared - there could be a “worst thing” too.  I always asked them to share a best thing as well as a worst thing if possible, but don’t push that too far if it was a tough day. 

It's nice to do a recap.  I liked to follow up after the conversation and repeat what everyone's “thing” was.  That was also my way of making sure that everyone got their turn. ​

• Listen completely.  Let them finish.  Don’t let siblings interrupt - that was a hard one in our house!  Sometimes we would have to return to someone and make sure they finished.  
• Never make fun of their ideas.  Never.  I promise, if you laugh at them, they won’t share openly again.  Not that this isn’t fun and funny - you can laugh with them, just never AT them. Know the difference.
• Don’t spread the news farther than they want it to spread… it’s not a Facebook post “Joey did this and he is amazing!”  If you feel something is share-worthy, get permission first.  This exercise requires trust.  
• ​Participate:  Yes, mom.  Yes dad. You had a best thing too.  Bonus - as your kids learn what is important to you by seeing your best thing through your eyes, they will learn some life lessons.  Sometimes my best thing was when I helped a customer at work in an extra way, often my husband's best thing involved his work ethic, or his huge sense of humor.  Give this some thought - but don’t make it a lecture.  Nobody likes a lecture.

Just a simple reminder today that we need each other.  

​Speak life, friends!

Check out Part 2: Gratitude

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